As humans,  we hunger for a society to belong, a place and a people we call our own and love. On getting this large sphere of people and territory, we break into smaller groups (starting from friendship to family). These smaller groups define every of our decisions and even emotions; either making us better or destroying us. It is now up to us to choose which end we want.

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Friendship is a companionship that every human should engage in. That sweet feeling that a person or group of persons always gat your back. It is also a hustle, a job that requires skills, strategy, attention, time and love amongst others. If not done right, like a glass cup of water that falls, it can be shattered.

I have always pondered on how mutual friends relate, or even trio best friends; Can love in friendship be shared equally amongst three or more best friends? Yes, there are different ways to love different people due to the different personalities but then…. Most times, a particular friend feel like the shadow, a third party to things. While A smiles at B most of the time, C & D gets the half smiles, something forced but not intentional. While A calls B all the time and tells him almost everything, bestie C is only remembered after some time. Of course, most times these actions are not intentional but nevertheless, they happen. That is why as a person,  if you cannot handle treating your besties or close friends equally,  do good to have just one__ just to avoid hurting another.

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The difficulty of keeping up with friends is one thing I battle with. It is not like you do not love or cherish these friends, you just have so many people and work that even typing a common hi becomes something stressful. Or inner emotional battles build up and you just want to cut everyone out for a while, creating distance and boom, you realise that you have lost them or they you. Sometimes, the distance that comes into friends starts with pride or low self esteem. “If I chat him first, would he reply?” “If I chat him, won’t he read too much meaning into it… Like I have feelings for him?” Over thinkers like me do this all the time, though I won’t categorise it as low self esteem or pride, I’d just say my loner lifestyle isn’t really easy to change (please if you are a loner, learn to control your feelings. Sometimes, depression walks into our lives because of the over thinking). Seriously, how do one manage a good and rare friendship? (Please tell…. I need it ☺)

There are few things I have come to realise in upholding friendships;

• Make effort. Try to always make effort even if you get ignored. Do your part,  be the matured mind.
• Don’t be aloof. Don’t always be emotionally distant. Make your friends feel special. Say the “I love you” when you should…. You feel me?
• Always pray to God to keep you together.
• Work on your emotions especially jealousy. Watch yourself every time,  when you realise a feeling of jealousy is building towards your friend,  quickly take the place of prayer against it,  pray for strength to overcome the feeling,  and give him space until you are sure you can hang around with him without feeling envy or bitterness just love.
• No friend is emotional stronger,  some might be too serious for a hug and the others fragile,  hug them the same. Some people just want some sweet affection and boom you see their fragile sides.
• Never let your friends compete for your affection.
• Do not… I repeat, do not GOSSIP about your friends.

As I conclude, I’ll like to let us know that there are different kind of friends;

• Friends with benefits
• Friends that’d sacrifice for you. If you do not have ’em,  contact me lemme borrow you some of mine. Lol,  just kidding.
• Friends from afar that do not know you well but you still hang out once in a while.
• Friends that you haven’t spoken to for a while but still gat you.
• Friends that would betray you,  like Peter betrayed Jesus, but would come back after redemption and ask for forgiveness
• Lots of other qualities… Just know there are no fake friends. Either you are my friend,  acquaintance or enemy.

Be observant always, always walk in love so you won’t fall and injure. We all are humans,  and feelings towards one another change. And like I said earlier,  always pray.